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Day 15: Good Times and Goodbyes

"Keep all special thoughts and memories for lifetimes to come. Share these keepsakes with others to inspire hope and build from the past, which can bridge to the future." 

- Mattie Stepanek

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Describe an experience that helped you learn more about yourself. How have you grown from the beginning to the end of your project? 

Wow....three weeks can really fly by. (Now, if you would've told me this in the three weeks leading up to finals and APs, I probably would've called you crazy). As soon as my senior project started feeling routine and comfortable, it ended. It reminds me of a similar feeling I've been having: as soon as high school started to feel comfortable and drama-free, it ended. But, I guess that's how life is...there must be a reason why everyone says, "life begins at the end of your comfort zone" ... right?? Anyway, although I can't believe project is over, I've learned so many things that will stick with me long after our presentations, graduation, and the oh-so-close summer vacation. I could talk a variety of life lessons I've encountered during my time at Menorah Park, but I'll focus on one in particular: outlook. 

It could have easily just been the AP-stress slowly wearing off, but during my first few days at Menorah Park I had this feeling inside me that I was forgetting something. Not something like my keys or a doctor's appointment, but an unfinished assignment or college form. For the past eight-or-so months, I have been stressed. Sure, my stress-levels have fluctuated throughout out this time, but there has always been something to worry about: college applications, a test, a big-game, scholarships, etc. But, at the start of project, it all disappeared...and so I thought there must be something missing from my life. As I've quickly become accustomed to this more laid-back lifestyle, I've also become aware of a part of me that I don't really like... (we'll get back to this in a moment).

Over the past few weeks, I've met tons of residents at Menorah Park...and I wide variety, too. But, one thing that has really stuck out to me is that all of these individuals, regardless if they predominantly speak another language, have dementia, or are well into their nineties, is that they give very similar life advice. This piece of advice comes in many different phrases and forms - I've included some of my favorites below!

~~~After losing a game of bingo: "It's alright - I win when I get up in the morning!"

~~~"I'm good and bad and in-between, but that's all you can ask for."

~~~Doing her daily exercsizes, "Use it or lose it!"

~~~"Thank you for all that you do" 

It took me a while to understand what all of these meant, but I think I've finally figured it out. Life throws a lot at you, and sometimes it's not all good. Most of the time in fact, there is something in our lives that we would like to change or get rid of entirely. But, you can't let these difficulties and inconveniences set the tone of the day. So, instead of hoping for a perfect life, instead hope to be able to endure a fairly decent life that isn't defined by the bad parts. In a way hope to be "good and bad and in-between." And, even when nothing seems to be going right, remember that we all have at least one thing going in our favor when we "get up in the morning." Also, if we dwell too much on what we don't have or what we want instead, we more than often forget what we already have; in essence we must remember to "use it or lose it" and tell someone, anyone, "thank you for all that you do."

Getting back to the part of me that I don't like (and hopefully have changed a little bit!). Looking back on that feeling of missing something during those first few days, I've realized that I have let stress become a part of my identity - something that I feel incomplete/unresolved without. And this, this attachment and almost need for stress, is what I don't like. And I know I might be drawing too much from these short phrases, but I have a new outlook on how I should be living life. Of course, there will be times in the future where I am stressed, worried, or upset. But, I need to remember that these small obstacles and disturbances aren't the center of my universe. In the end, life goes on and on and on until one day you find yourself at Menorah Park, wondering why you let a B+ on a history paper get in the way of enjoying every other gift of life. 

***

Based on your experience so far, what advice would you give to next year’s Hawken Project students? What should they do to make the most of their projects?

As graduation approaches (T-3 days!) and my project has drawn to a close, it's time to pass on the torch to the juniors as the next senior class and next project-members. I understand that everyone's journey is different and each project teaches different lessons, but here are a few of the recommendations I have for those just embarking on this journey...

1) Don't be afraid to do a project by yourself.

Doing a project with friends can be incredible (I've heard so many awesome things from group projects!), but don't feel like you have to. I knew not many people would want to do a service project as their last hoorah in high school and decided to do it by myself. And, you know what, I'm glad I did. As a sometimes introverted individual, new social environments can be intimidating. If I was with my besties during these past three weeks, I probably would've stayed within familiarity and not fully appreciated the work I was doing and the residents I was serving. So, don't be afraid to take on your dream project- even if your friends end up going in another direction.

2) Accept that there will be things you don't like. Learn from them. 

No matter what your project is, there are going to be less-than-ideal moments - usually ones that are unexpected. There's no way around it - you can only change how you respond to these moments. For example, when I decided to volunteer at Menorah Park, I didn't really envision myself cleaning out refrigerators or organizing spoons. I'll admit it, these tasks weren't my favorite. But, these less-than-ideal tasks and obstacles are a vital part in creating a successful, enjoyable project because tough moments make you appreciate ) the good ones even more. Additionally, realizing that each little thing you must do will make a difference in your 'final product' and it'll all be worth it in the end. So, overall, accept that Hawken Project won't just be a three-week-long party and learn to grow from adversity.

3) Don't count out a service project right away....

Okay, stay with me for a minute. Yes, for many seniors, Hawken Project translates into "Fun project where I can hang out with my friends" or "resume builder." These are two great options!! But, I wish service projects didn't get translated into "consequence if your project doesn't get approved." Service isn't for everyone - I get it. But, my hope for next year's seniors is that they give service-oriented work a chance. If you have read any of my other blogposts, it's obvious to see that although I'm helping elderly residents with arts&crafts and transportation, this work has also filled me with a happiness that only results from seeing your own positive change in the world. I'm convinced that there is an enjoyable service project out there for everyone, you just have to be willing to uncover it. So, be open to service - it more often leaves you filled with happiness and gives you a knew perspective on the world as you head out into it. 

Day 10: Language and Communication

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." -Peter Drucker

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What surprised you?

Many things have surprised me throughout my internship so far. I think that's to be expected whenever your throwing yourself into a entirely new situation. But, that being said, one thing that surprises me more and more each and every day is the importance of COMMUNICATION. Growing up at Hawken, I have always been surrounded by like-minded individuals who can clearly articulate their thoughts and concerns. Even when working with my campers over the summer or living in Chile for 3 weeks, I have always been able to function and communicate clearly with the "world" around me. 

Over the past two weeks, I can't say the same. Don't get me wrong, I have long, easy-to-follow conversation with many of Menorah Park's residents. But, before starting my project, I had no idea how many Russian-speaking, Yiddish-speaking, and non-verbal people live here. In Chile, when I didn't understand a word/phrase, someone would act it out or describe it using circumlocution. But, many of these residents either can't move enough to physically convey their message or I simply don't know ANY of their first language (no matter how many different ways they describe it...). For example, earlier today I was taking Tammy (a puzzle-loving artist who only answers yes/no questions) back home after a ceramics class. As we passed the ice cream parlor, she let out a soft grunt and pointed at the reflective glass. I asked a nearby nurse if she could have some and got the okay from her. I wheeled Tammy up closer to the barrier so she could look at all the flavors. She presses her finger firmly onto the "CHOCOLATE" sign. Easy enough, I think, But then, she points behind the counter..."What the....?" I think to myself. The picture on the wall? The spoons? The napkins? The volunteer behind counter and I guessed frantically as Tammy continuously shook her head back and forth, obviously frustrated. Finally, after 5 minutes, he finally said, "OH! Do you want to charge this to your room?" "Mhmmmm" Tammy replies immediately. "PHEW," I sigh internally...that couldn't have been any more difficult. 

This is only one instance where a lack of communication has caused delays/mistakes. In my life, I have never been concerned about articulating thoughts. Instead, I've always been more focused on what I'm saying (not how I'm saying it). But, during this project, I've come to realize that having to bottle up these thoughts and questions and ideas because you do not have a "vehicle" to transport them is one of the most frustrating feelings ever. I couldn't imagine living with this barrier 24/7, as many of these residents do. Maybe that's why I see many Russian-only tables in dining rooms; communication and language are such an integral and vital part of our identities and our daily lives. It begs the question, is a life without communication really a "life" at all? 

I must admit, not all of my language encounters have been traumatic - I've  even been slowly picking up on a few Russian phrases (yes/no/etc.)! Additionally, it is that much more meaningful when I get a compliment from one of these other-language-speaking residents. In a long monologue about who knows what, sometimes they will pause and say "You're beautiful" or "I love you" or "Thank you." This brief connection and communication success brings a flood of joy to me. 

***

Describe something new that you learned.

I decided to answer another question in this blogpost because it relates very closely with this theme of communication. 

In the midst of all these communication struggles, I've learned something I never had even thought about before: SMILING IS UNIVERSAL. I know, I know: that's probably the cheesiest thing you've read all day. BUT, it's true. Even when I cannot talk with residents, some of my closest bonds are with those who I only share a smile with. Ethel (from a previous blog post!) cannot talk. But, there is something passed between us when I come up to her and simply smile. As the quote at the top of this entry says, what we mean can never truly be defined and summed up in words; there is something intangible, universal that can be picked up on through non-verbal communication. 

Earlier today, while working with Lola, a Yiddish-speaking resident in "Beachwood," she grabbed my hands and kissed my wrists and held them tightly. Nothing was said. But, the eye contact and interaction we shared was more than enough to get the message across: she appreciated my help and enjoyed my company. Maria, a Russian-speaking individual in "Shaker" nods and smiles when I come to visit her. And, whenever I help fasten her clothing protector (bib) or transport her to Russian Club, she holds up a big, distinguishable thumbs up and grabs my hand warmly. 

So, while at first, Menorah park can sometimes feel empty, hollow, and quiet, it is quite the opposite. That place is overflowing with thoughts, feelings, and messages - but, only those willing to dig a little deeper and use more than just their ears will be able to truly appreciate this richness.......If a picture is worth a thousand words, a smile must be worth a million. :)

Day 7: Leaving, Lunch, and Lessons Learned

"We all have those things that even in the midst of stress and disarray, they energize us and gives us renewed strength and purpose. These are our passions." - Adam Braun

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What has been a challenge for you? How did you overcome that challenge or how do you think you will overcome it?

While working at Menorah Park has been fairly straightforward, there has been a few instances that have proved to be quite challenging or intimidating. In this blogpost I'm going to focus on my biggest one to date....the field trip.

Last week (I believe on Thursday), my mentor told me that I would be accompanying Jenny (an activity coordinator for the "Euclid" pavillion) on a lunch field trip with some residents. To begin with, I was SO excited. I had heard about how fun and enjoyable these field trips can be from my grandma. I was also really looking forward to spending some time with a few of my new friends here at Menorah Park. Anyways, I briskly walked across the bast building to Euclid and saw Jenny finishing up the daily morning exercise session - mainly leg kicks, wrist rolls, and arm extensions. She told me to relax for a couple of minutes until they were done. I decided to pull up a chair and do the basic motions with some residents, talking with them as we worked-out. After about 10 more minutes, we were all done and I began transporting the individuals who signed up for the field trip to the main lobby. Two residents had walkers and the rest (4) were in wheelchairs for the day. The bus driver helped everyone onto the bus while Jenny and I discussed were we should go. The original plan was Hibachi, but since it was a sunny 80 degree day, we brainstormed a list of restaurants with nice outdoor patio spaces that we could enjoy. Ultimately, we decided on "Red Hawk," an awesome place in Concord. 

Throughout my time at Menorah Park so far, I have definitely come to appreciate my own mobility and independence. Every simple, seemingly trivial task is made so much more difficult for these residents. On a normal day, I would walk into the shaded patio area with my family or friends and sit-down without even thinking about it. But, this process became much more difficult when I had to help navigate four wheelchairs and two walkers through the lunch-time rush.  I think that I could've handled this situation on a normal day, but that day definitely was not normal...

"Only 1 more," I thought to myself as I pushed the final resident through the ornate gate and into the patio. My thought is interrupted by a flustered Jenny who whispers to me, "Olivia** leg is gushing blood!!!" (**I decided to change this resident's name in this story) And, sure enough, as I'm pushing my friend Colleen along, I see a rather alarming trail of blood to our table. What's worse, underneath Olivia's leg was a plate-sized pool of blood. Jenny reappears and rushes Olivia back out to the front of the restaurant while I am left to deal with the remaining five residents and the burning glares of the everyone else in the facility. I mean I get it, you don't expect to see that much blood on your Thursday afternoon business lunch, but it was still difficult to deal with.  

As a tall, quiet man approach with fresh towels and a mop to clean up the mess as quickly as possible, I focused on everyone else, asking them to look at the menus and decided what they would like. Immediately my instincts from my summer job as a camp counselor kicked in; I took control and looked within myself for the best plan of action. I couldn't question if whether what I was doing was the best option: I had to go with my best bet and make it work. One lady was almost completely blind, so I read the menu aloud, trying my best to keep my composure. One individual started pouring sugar packets into her ice water while I'm trying to help the kind waiter write down orders. Instantly, a thought appears in my head: "Do any of these resident's have dietary restrictions?!?!" I shove the thought out of my mind, knowing that there is nothing I can do about it alone. (it turns out, none of them did...phew!) After nearly 30 minutes, I still have no idea where Jenny, the bus driver, or Olivia are. I nervously gulp down my water and try to keep my smiley face on in front of everyone else. 

Finally, Jenny and the bus driver reappear from behind the gate. They explain that Olivia's injury wasn't serious and that she was probably just on blood thinners. Regardless, they still sent her to the hospital across the street in order to best treat the small wound. Sitting down and breathing for the first time in what felt like ages, we ordered a food as we watched the rest of our happy residents chow down. 

As we were preparing to once again embark on our trek back to the front of the restaurant, one individuals informs us that they NEED to use to restroom. With no certified Nurse or Care-Taker with us, we didn't want to take any chances if they were to fall and said that they would have to try and hold it until we arrived back at home. This did not make them very happy, to say the least. I won't go into specifics, but let's just say that bus ride home wasn't the best-smelling... Great. After it was all said and done, we all were more than relieved to make it back to our safe-haven.

***

This traumatic day (which Jenny later told me was completely out of the ordinary!) showed me a lot. Up until that point I was always questioning myself, doubting whether one-wrong move could have major, unforeseen consequences. But, when I was all alone, these doubts melted from my mind because they had to. Sometimes you are not always going to be able to ask questions and follow someone else's instructions. In these moments, you must have confidence in your training and trust yourself to do what's best. Thinking back on this day, I am surprised at how well I kept my composure and attitude around the rest of the unknowing, innocent residents. And, even though this day was stressful (that's an understatement, really), I still enjoyed talking and spending time with my new friends. In troubling moments, you cannot let the difficulties weigh you down; there is always positivity and opportunity in every situation - you just have to open your eyes to find it. 

Day 5: First Impressions

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes" -Marcel Prouest

Welcome back to my blog! As of yet, I haven't been able to update my blog as often I would like, mainly due to lingering AP/final exams that have consumed most of my free time. That being said, now that those obligations have passed, I hope to add to this site more frequently.

In today's reflection I will be addressing 3 questions regarding my overall project and the first few days of work. I hope you enjoy!

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Who are the people with whom you are currently working? Describe your colleagues and the organization for which you are working.  What have you learned so far about the people at your project and the expectations of your project?

I work with 2 very different groups of people every day. There are the residents - which I will get to a little bit later - and then there are my colleagues. My mentors are Vicki Snyder and Kim Skerl. Mrs. Snyder is in charge of managing all volunteer services at Menorah Park as well as many other responsibilities around campus. Therefore, I do not spend much time with her and instead start every morning by reporting to Mrs. Skerl, who is the Activity Director and helps oversee each pavilion's (living area's) activity program and community-wide events. Yet, in fact, I spend most of my day with a variety of Activity Coordinators and Jackie, who runs the Creative-Arts Center. Each Activity Coordinator works in a specific pavilion (Beachwood, Shaker, Weinberg, Fairmount, Marcus, Freidman, and Euclid) to help run these activities and interact with residents.  I am often dispatched to different pavilions in order to help with these activities (such as bingo, coloring, transportation, etc). Additionally, I spend some of my time in the Creative-Arts Center with Jackie, helping with weekly ceramic and beading classes.

I have learned so much already and it's not even been a week! One of the biggest things I've had to pick-up quickly in order to reach the expectations is to be AWARE. In my normal life, I am used to just having to take care of myself (and I sometimes struggle even doing this!). So, when I am in a room full of individuals who often cannot take care of themselves completely, I cannot overlook small details that have potentially harmful consequences. For example, when you are transporting an individual across campus, you must ensure that their feet are pulled up off the ground so that their foot/ankle does not get tangled. Additionally, you have to find out how each person communicates: some residents cannot verbalize their thoughts articulately while some can. Learning how to overcome these barriers has been difficult but it is an essential part of this job. I have much more respect for the difficulty that all of my colleagues more endure every day.

***

How does your organization affect the lives of others? How have you affected someone else while on project?

My organization tremendously helps the lives of others! Menorah Park not only helps keep residents healthy and physically safe through an outstanding nursing & aid staff as well as immediate access to doctors and life-saving resource, but it also helps make residents' elderly years pleasurable and enjoyable. Growing old can bring many hardships previously absent in one's life. Menorah Park helps minimize these obstacles and inconveniences and promotes that idea that everyone, no matter their age, deserves to have fun and enjoy themselves. It has been absolutely incredible to how transformative such small, seemingly insignificant gestures and activities can be in their lives.

I hope that all of my work is doing something to affect the life of someone living at Menorah Park, but I will discuss a few memorable moments from my time so far that have really stuck with me. Over the past few days, I have been working in the Beachwood pavilion, which houses many  low-functioning individuals. I have ended up spending quite a bit of time with one lady, named Ethel. Ethel doesn't say much and falls asleep often. But even after just a few short days of talking to her, complimenting her nail polish, and playing with her animated pet dog, every time I see Ethel, a wide, genuine smile spreads across her face. She grabs my hand and strokes it affectionately, signaling her happiness without words. Even if Ethel doesn't remember me in a day, a week, or a month, I hope my positivity has improved her day at least in the present. Another person I've helped in the past week has been Miriam. Because there are only so many people who work at each pavilion, residents don't always have the freedom to chose which activities they participate in. Miriam, a woman with very poor eyesight, loves art and coloring. Therefore, while Sue (Activity Coordinator) works with the larger group on a trivia game, I was able to take Miriam aside and color with her. She is an incredible artist, especially considering her limitations, and I hope that my volunteering has allowed her to pursue her happiness just a tad bit more.

***

How were you feeling the first day of project? What were your initial expectations?   What were your hopes and fears?

On my first day, I was feeling super excited and only a tiny bit nervous. I had seen the majority of Menorah Park before on visits to see my grandma and had a pretty good idea of what kind of things they do. But, that isn't to say, that I was just a little bit unsure of how I would do on the job. On the first day I was really worried about taking a resident to the wrong place, giving someone something they aren't allowed to have, not knowing how to work with more challenging individuals, etc. My greatest fear though was that I would just be a bother to my colleagues. I didn't want to appear as a high schooler just serving in order to get to graduation. No, I really wanted to come across as a serious, passionate student who can make a difference and doesn't just get in the way. So far, many of the Activity Coordinators, Jackie, and Mrs. Skerl have been so welcoming and thankful for my work - a huge relief! I am even more excited now, one week in, than I was before starting my work. I cannot wait to see what is in store for me!

An Introduction

Hello and welcome to my blog! Throughout the next month or so, I will be updating this website often with my experiences while on Hawken Project.  I am so excited that the time has finally arrived – it’s been months in the making. Without further ado…let’s begin!

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“The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu

With project starting in 1 week (can you believe it?!), it’s finally starting to feel real. Albeit, my mind is still primarily focused on upcoming AP tests, final project presentations, and a math final, I still cannot contain my excitement for next Wednesday!

In this blogpost, I thought it would be best to introduce myself and explain my project to you…

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So, what exactly is my project? Why did you chose it?

In essence, I am doing a service project. I will be working at Menorah Park, a living center of senior citizens. It is located in Beachwood, OH and is about 15 minutes away from my house. In fact, I have passed by the large, brown “MENORAH PARK” sign an infinite amount of times in the past 18 years. But, I never really had a connection to the facility until about a year ago when I came to the realization that at the same time as I gaining my own independence, my grandmother was losing a lot of her own. I was originally distraught that the sleep overs, trips to Dunkin’ Donuts, and games of bingo of my childhood were gone. I refused to visit my grandma because I thought that as soon as I stepped foot in her new home – Menorah Park – I would have to accept that those happiness-filled days of my childhood were over. But, eventually I overcame my stubbornness and stopped by one day…and boy, did I make a good decision. Yes, I still sometimes feel nostalgic for those days. Although things will never truly be the same, I’ve realized that even though she has lost much of her own independence, I have gained much more of my own. It is with this fact that I decided on volunteering at Menorah Park.

I visit my grandma quite often nowadays and each time I stop by, I am reminded that I often take my life for granted. I let little inconveniences ruin my day: friends getting on my nerves, not wanting to go to sports practice, not wanting to clean my room when I get home, etc. Yet, I could tell that any of these elderly residents would do anything just to have the mobility, social interactions, and independence I so often complain about it. But, even though they declined from what they used to be, I’ve found that these individuals are eternally optimistic, compassionate, and appreciative. In my experience, spending time around senior citizens gives me more perspective on life and simultaneously puts a smile on my face.

***

Ew…service! Why CHOOSE to put yourself through that?

I know many of my classmates cringe at the thought of doing community service for 3 weeks, but I cannot wait! One extremely transformative experience in my life has been the Homelessness Intensive. Working with this underappreciated community got me to thinking…a lot. Throughout this course, I completely changed my mindset on community service. No longer was service that mandatory day twice a year that felt pointless. No, it was a responsibility of mine to give back to a country and community that has given me so much (even if I don’t recognize it that frequently…). Seeing the impact of my work fills me with a feeling that can’t really be described or achieved by doing anything else. The way a person’s face lights up when they feel someone genuinely cares about them is an image that really sticks in my mind. As I write, my mind is flooded with the smiles of Lonzell, an impoverished kindergartner fighting homelessness with his 6 other siblings, and Catherine, a mentally disabled basketball player at the Metzenbaum center. Overall, I chose to do a service project this spring not because I need it on my college resume or to “look good,” but because I want to share some of the amazing experiences I’ve had in my life with those who haven’t.

***

Okay, so what’s your essential question?

Here is my essential question (and some supplemental ones!):

• What can I learn – both about myself and life in general – from working with the elderly population?
• What are some of the struggles that senior citizens face in their daily life?
• How are we different? How are we the same? 
• How are the effects of memory loss on an individual’s life? How do they handle these changes?

I hope to answer these questions (and more) during my time at Menorah Park!

***

What will you specifically be doing there?

Menorah Park is a huge facility, with many different pavilions/sectors for a wide range of senior citizens. For my project, I will be working with Kimberly Skerl, an activities director, in the memory-loss unit. In general, I will be keeping the residents company and helping run fun activities in which they can participate. These may include things such as bingo, music performances, games, etc. I will be at the facility from 8:30 am to around 3:00-4:00pm every day.

***

Are you doing anything in preparation for your project?

Because I will be working in the memory-loss unit at Menorah Park, Ms. Skerl recommended that I read a fascinating novel about a woman who experiences early-onset Alzheimer’s disease named Still Alice. I have heard amazing things about this book and can’t wait to dive right in! I’ve included a link to the movie trailer below if you are interested in watching! :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrXrZ5iiR0o 

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Wow…I really can ramble! Anyways, I hope you are ready to enjoy reading about this journey on which I’m about the embark. The possibilities are endless!

Sincerely yours,

Bailey