Day 10: Language and Communication

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." -Peter Drucker

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What surprised you?

Many things have surprised me throughout my internship so far. I think that's to be expected whenever your throwing yourself into a entirely new situation. But, that being said, one thing that surprises me more and more each and every day is the importance of COMMUNICATION. Growing up at Hawken, I have always been surrounded by like-minded individuals who can clearly articulate their thoughts and concerns. Even when working with my campers over the summer or living in Chile for 3 weeks, I have always been able to function and communicate clearly with the "world" around me. 

Over the past two weeks, I can't say the same. Don't get me wrong, I have long, easy-to-follow conversation with many of Menorah Park's residents. But, before starting my project, I had no idea how many Russian-speaking, Yiddish-speaking, and non-verbal people live here. In Chile, when I didn't understand a word/phrase, someone would act it out or describe it using circumlocution. But, many of these residents either can't move enough to physically convey their message or I simply don't know ANY of their first language (no matter how many different ways they describe it...). For example, earlier today I was taking Tammy (a puzzle-loving artist who only answers yes/no questions) back home after a ceramics class. As we passed the ice cream parlor, she let out a soft grunt and pointed at the reflective glass. I asked a nearby nurse if she could have some and got the okay from her. I wheeled Tammy up closer to the barrier so she could look at all the flavors. She presses her finger firmly onto the "CHOCOLATE" sign. Easy enough, I think, But then, she points behind the counter..."What the....?" I think to myself. The picture on the wall? The spoons? The napkins? The volunteer behind counter and I guessed frantically as Tammy continuously shook her head back and forth, obviously frustrated. Finally, after 5 minutes, he finally said, "OH! Do you want to charge this to your room?" "Mhmmmm" Tammy replies immediately. "PHEW," I sigh internally...that couldn't have been any more difficult. 

This is only one instance where a lack of communication has caused delays/mistakes. In my life, I have never been concerned about articulating thoughts. Instead, I've always been more focused on what I'm saying (not how I'm saying it). But, during this project, I've come to realize that having to bottle up these thoughts and questions and ideas because you do not have a "vehicle" to transport them is one of the most frustrating feelings ever. I couldn't imagine living with this barrier 24/7, as many of these residents do. Maybe that's why I see many Russian-only tables in dining rooms; communication and language are such an integral and vital part of our identities and our daily lives. It begs the question, is a life without communication really a "life" at all? 

I must admit, not all of my language encounters have been traumatic - I've  even been slowly picking up on a few Russian phrases (yes/no/etc.)! Additionally, it is that much more meaningful when I get a compliment from one of these other-language-speaking residents. In a long monologue about who knows what, sometimes they will pause and say "You're beautiful" or "I love you" or "Thank you." This brief connection and communication success brings a flood of joy to me. 

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Describe something new that you learned.

I decided to answer another question in this blogpost because it relates very closely with this theme of communication. 

In the midst of all these communication struggles, I've learned something I never had even thought about before: SMILING IS UNIVERSAL. I know, I know: that's probably the cheesiest thing you've read all day. BUT, it's true. Even when I cannot talk with residents, some of my closest bonds are with those who I only share a smile with. Ethel (from a previous blog post!) cannot talk. But, there is something passed between us when I come up to her and simply smile. As the quote at the top of this entry says, what we mean can never truly be defined and summed up in words; there is something intangible, universal that can be picked up on through non-verbal communication. 

Earlier today, while working with Lola, a Yiddish-speaking resident in "Beachwood," she grabbed my hands and kissed my wrists and held them tightly. Nothing was said. But, the eye contact and interaction we shared was more than enough to get the message across: she appreciated my help and enjoyed my company. Maria, a Russian-speaking individual in "Shaker" nods and smiles when I come to visit her. And, whenever I help fasten her clothing protector (bib) or transport her to Russian Club, she holds up a big, distinguishable thumbs up and grabs my hand warmly. 

So, while at first, Menorah park can sometimes feel empty, hollow, and quiet, it is quite the opposite. That place is overflowing with thoughts, feelings, and messages - but, only those willing to dig a little deeper and use more than just their ears will be able to truly appreciate this richness.......If a picture is worth a thousand words, a smile must be worth a million. :)